By Ashley Ketteman

“My friend texted me yesterday and told me she ‘came out.’” Jane and I were on a morning walk, and I remember being surprised to hear that about one of her friends in Japan! I felt like I had been shoved into a new level of parenting! To my greater surprise, I learned that Jane had already sent a reply. It was full of love, but also truth.

I imagine you’ve had similar conversations with your teen… I often feel out of my depth because I don’t have a situation like this from my teenage experience. How do we as Jesus-loving moms navigate these new (to some of us – because, really, there is nothing new under the sun!) cultural “norms” that our teens face day after day?

Disclaimer: I am not an expert on anything in life, but as I look back on that conversation, I am thankful for many things… Firstly, I am thankful that Jane responded in love! She reaffirmed their friendship, but then told her friend that she didn’t support her choice because it’s the opposite of God’s way, and His way is best for us. This led to a great gospel follow-up conversation! Finally, I am so thankful Jane told me about her conversation.

One of the ways we can help our children navigate these cultural issues biblically is by simply knowing what they’re facing! We need to have open lines of communication with our kids, and that begins with relationship. We need to spend time with our teens and truly listen to them! Most teenagers long to be seen and heard.

1. Let’s carve out time to listen to them – about whatever they want to talk about!
2. Let’s guard against being visibly “shocked” with issues they’re encountering and listen to them calmly.
3. Let’s guard against lecture mode but take them to scripture.  Knowing God’s Word and valuing it as absolute truth should be one of our biggest goals as parents!
4. With love at the forefront of our responses, let’s remember that we all struggle with sin; some sin is just more public than others.

Hang in there, fellow moms in the trenches! I’m praying for you.

About the Author: Ashley is blessed to be wife to Jack, mom to Jane, Callie, and Carter and lives and serves Jesus in Tokyo, Japan. She enjoys coffee, shopping in second-hand stores in Tokyo, reading, going on long walks, visiting the ocean and mountains, and cooking. Teaching children and introducing women to Jesus is one of her favorite things in life!