By Sarah Lawson

January 5, 2018 is a day that will forever be burned into my memory. That day changed my girl’s life and our entire family’s way of life forever.

At 10 years old, my youngest daughter, Emily Joy, had been battling something and now we had the answer — it was Type One Diabetes (T1D). What now? Where do we go from here? How will this affect her? These were all questions I asked the doctor on the other end of the phone as feelings of guilt, despair and fear started to well up. I had done some research on T1D, but I knew I was not at all prepared for this!

We learned that Type One Diabetes is an autoimmune disease she was born with, and a virus had set the disease in motion. Emily’s body was no longer able to produce insulin and she would have to monitor her blood sugar constantly and have multiple insulin injections every day for the rest of her life. The next few weeks brought MUCH training and education, and we were reminded of the strength we had observed in Emily throughout the years. Emily had arrived in this world 6 weeks early, stayed in the NICU for a week for help with her breathing and eating, and spent another 2 weeks in the hospital. She finally came home on oxygen for a few months. She had also already experienced a couple of minor surgeries and been recently diagnosed with some other issues, so we had been watching her fight for a while and knew she was a strong girl! However, being a spectator to her giving herself a shot of insulin for the first time was something altogether different. She took charge of her illness, and she became my hero!

As a mom, there have been days that have been extremely difficult to watch my baby face the constant challenges of a chronic illness. And yes, there are still times of feeling guilt, despair, fear, and now caregiver fatigue. But I have been immensely encouraged by Psalm 139:14 which says, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” This is a verse I have used many times in talking with Emily about her differences, reminding her that God created her exactly the way He did for a purpose and that He has equipped her to live this life.

One day, in a moment of T1D helplessness, God quietly reminded me that not only did He create my Emily uniquely and purposefully, but He also created me uniquely and purposefully to be her mom and walk with her through this illness. He knew all these things were going to happen to Emily, even as he created me and formed me. Can I make it even more personal? He is the reason I have always been so inquisitive (sorry Mom and Dad), have always had a stubborn streak (again, sorry Mom and Dad) and have always had the desire to dig to find the answer to something. He knew I would need those characteristics to research, educate myself, and advocate for Emily others with T1D. It is incredibly comforting that the God who created us did so with such care, planning and extreme love. He wants to help guide us through all the things of life. This may not be a divine revelation to you, but in that moment, it was to me. It was just another reminder that God cares so deeply for us that He will take the time to constantly remind us of promises He has made and kept!

Pain, fear, fatigue, and frustration will always be a part of this journey. I will always encourage Emily to talk about those feelings, cry with her, pray with her for strength to get through, and lean into Jesus for comfort on the hardest of days. BUT we will also continue to celebrate the good days and remember that God has not failed us and He won’t! (Lam. 3:22-23 – The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.)

About the Author: Sarah Lawson is wife to a pastor and the promotional director of MI and mom to two beautiful teenage daughters, Olivia and Emily.  Life is extremely busy, but she enjoys being able to help others with life, especially teaching people how to use technology to function in this changing world and help them remember they have much to offer the Kingdom of God!