By Olivia Lawson

For as long as I can remember I have compared myself to other people. My worth depended on whether I was as athletic as my friends or if I could afford the expensive clothes that they were wearing. I never thought being just me was enough. I was always seeking the approval of everyone around me and I would change to be whoever my friends, the people at church or a boy that liked wanted me to be.

At about the age of 15, I started struggling with my body image. When I looked in a mirror I never liked what I saw. I was never satisfied with what I looked like and the way my body was. This way of thinking caused me to stop eating and I would go many days with little or no food.  For a while it worked. I noticed a change in the way my body looked and in the attention I was getting from boys so I would continue to not eat. I cared so much about the approval of others that I was harming myself to “fit in”. 

One day at school I was feeling really sick and I had to call my Mom to come and pick me up. While I was waiting for her I was sitting in the bathroom and I blacked out because I had not eaten in days. That day my mom and I had a long talk and I told her what was going on. It took many months of going to therapy, my mom checking up on me, and a bunch of ups and downs to finally realize that my worth is not in what others think of me or how they see me.  It is completely and totally found in the way that Christ sees me. 

During this time there were some specific Bible verses that were given to me and I have kept them close to my heart and I would like to share them with you.  

Jeremiah 17:7 says “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.” This verse is important to me because it is a reminder that my confidence should be found in Christ and not in what others think of me. 

Psalm 139:14 says “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” This is such a great reminder that I was created by God to be unique and remarkable! If God loves me for who I am I can also love myself because I am God’s beautiful creation. 

It took me a long time to realize I am made in the image of God and no one’s approval matters but His. That’s not to say I still don’t struggle with these things because it is a daily battle and the devil knows it is hard for me. However, when I…

1. Hang on to the truth of God’s word  
2. Remember who created me 
3. Know that He created me perfectly just the way he wanted me to be 
4. Stop trying to be what social media says I should be 

…I can be happy and satisfied knowing that God loves me and He created me uniquely. 

If you are struggling with self-harm of any kind, please go to a trusted adult for help.  It may be a parent, youth leader/wife or pastor’s wife.  They are not there to judge you, but to help you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  There are people that are going through or have gone through self-image issues and are ready to help.

About the Author: Olivia Lawson is a senior in high school and lives in Westland, MI with her parents and sister Emily.  She loves singing, playing the piano, playing volleyball and soccer, and doing nails, hair, and makeup for herself and for others.  She is passionate about mental health awareness and helping teen girls realize their identity is found in Christ.